Hence, this morning’s trip to Jubilee Church London was always going to be interesting. If I’d been going on my own, I’d have been frankly terrified at the prospect. I imagined such a free-for all, with things being made up on the spot (sorry – ‘inspired by the Spirit at the moment’). My friends know this is how I feel and they know why I like the structure of the services at my home church; we’ve talked about it lots before. Even the fact there’s a chap with a church-branded tabard directing traffic in the Cineworld car park is a little off my experience: as it was pointed out by Paula, taking a high church Anglican to a Pentecostal church should be a spectator sport.

Anyway. How did I get on?

Well, you’ll be pleased to know I didn’t hate it. Yes, I felt out of place. Yes, I found much that was strange. Church in a cinema? Weird. I didn’t really like not knowing what was coming next or how far through the proceedings we were (this is a general condition of mine, not just in church but in life in general…I do like a nice planned agenda). I did find it a little hard to follow the main talk because of the speaker’s accent. I found the messages from the creche for parents to collect kids a bit distracting. And oh my word it was noisy. Late starting, so much chatting going on; no chance to gather quietly and reverently before the service. There wasn’t a huge amount of prayer, a point which has only just struck me. The breaking of bread was done hurriedly; and chaotically; we had wine brought to us before any bread had come into view. The pastor asked that this was done quickly, he said ‘we’ll just quickly break bread together.’ I suspect that if you had never been taught why this was important, you’d perhaps not really know and link it to the Easter message. And it was a passing part of a bigger event, not the main focus as it is in an 8am BCP service (my usual). Finally, whilst I understood the message, the first talk about the imminent 3-day fast had a bit of a ring of triumphalism about it. Fast for three days, and you’ll be on your way to getting great blessings. We need to move from survival, to sufficient, to significance with God – no real sense that it’s not always onwards and upwards. Alongside that, I’m used to a more measured, academic, fuller explanation of where a particular passage fits into the Bible, rather than just diving in.

But, I enjoyed it. The worship was well led and there were  a couple of songs I know, and even one I like. (It’s an ongoing joke I rarely sing anything written in the last 90 years). It was noisy enough that I could sing loudly and not be heard. Paula tells me she saw my foot tapping, which is apparently one step down a slippery slope to embracing Pentecostalism. The talk on fasting was funny, and encouraging; I almost felt tempted to join in (only almost). A church member and friend of my friend had sadly recently died and the pastor’s announcement showed that in this case at least the church, although large, had a sense of community with real concern for the widow. There are clearly flourishing small groups for people (not groups for small people). We were given a welcome pack with a CD, an introductory brochure and explanation of the church social life, as well as the spiritual.

If you wanted loud, upbeat, inspirational and exuberant stuff then this would be right up your street. If you wanted considered prayer, a sense of structure, and quiet reflection, you’re definitely going to be in the wrong place. How lucky we are that we are not all restricted to the same identikit kind of church and we can find our own place.

I really valued the chance to experience this, and it has made me aware of how little I know of other churches’ styles even in my own town. Definitely an interesting morning; definitely some food for thought in the messages I heard and the conversation over lunch.

Thank you, Eulette, for sharing this with me, and inviting me along; thanks for tolerating my jokes and insecurities, and for a wonderful weekend. [Quick edit: forgot to say that I did introduce my friends to Compline, and my all-time favourite prayer from it; I think they quite liked it]

You know my overriding feeling about 2011? “Bloody hell, that went quick.” It feels like a couple of months since celebrating my brother’s 40^th last January 2^nd. And in case I forget to say it later on, two good things about 2011 has been him quitting smoking and not being admitted to hospital. Anyway, this sense of frantically fugiting tempus is not mine alone, I know. But, the highlights of my year are mine alone, and I want to share them here. So here goes. Remind me of this blog post, please, next time I complain how hard I am finding life. The days might be long, but the life overall seems to be busy…

Q1

Phil’s birthday, and him enjoying family time. SLA Leadership in DC. I was part of the programme. I made new connections. There was gin, laughter, dancing. I ran in the National Mall and I geeked out in the Air & Space Museum. I ran the Great Bentley half marathon in my PB of 2:04 and a bit. Got PhD feedback from my peers in Lboro and started my interviews off. I figured out how to make decent cake.

Q2

Lent and the £1/ day food challenge. Interviews. Putting a panel together for a high profile information conference. And Rome. I went to Rome! I was part of a bilingual conference. I visited the Vatican and the rooms of St Ignatius. I ate pizza outdoors and I walked happily alone through a beautiful city. I had a memorable day with Slunch friends and the next generation. I went on my only date of the year – which was disastrous. I went back to the US, to Philadelphia and the SLA Conference – I received an award, I spoke on the programme, I made new connections and strengthened old ones. I was also very stressed. Caught the train to New York. I ran in Central Park. I geeked out at the Transit Museum. I drank wine on the balcony of the Met and for the second time in my life I watched the American Ballet Theater. I saw the NYPL from the insiders’ point of view.  I made more cake.

Q3

I changed jobs. I moved from one tallish building to a far more famous tall building. I ran the London 10k and the Standard Chartered 5k. I went to Greenbelt and had one long tweetup; I was part of the programme. I went to Greenbelt and experienced undeserved grace. I saw Dr Faustus sell his soul. I stayed with old friends in a new house and saw my office through a telescope. I drank beer with new friends and old mates in more than one place. I ran the Great North Run and had a fantastic weekend in Newcastle with my parents. Started learning the new job the hard way after my manager left and I had the choice of sinking or swimming…

Q4

Saw a friend get married; went to Library Camp in Birmingham. Had another interesting day at a conference and worked more on the PhD. Handed over my SLA Europe presidential duties. Visited Matlock and made the acquaintance of an old friend’s not-quite-so-new son. Ran some more. Baked some more. Tweeted more. Took part in another couple of conferences. Drank a bit more beer, made a few more bad jokes. Celebrated a birthday, coped with Christmas, calmly stepped into a new year.

Did I help you any in 2011? Did my bad jokes make you smile? Was there a tissue if you were feeling tearful or a beer if you needed to talk? Was that email or that tweet or that letter OK? Was a day made easier, a burdened lightened, a chore eased or a problem halved? Or did I screw up and make you cry, or wonder how I call myself a Christian? Because as much as I have achieved things for myself, if I helped you along the way that makes life all the more worth living and gives me a point and purpose to being here.

1. Mentor and be mentored
I have been privileged to receive help and guidance from some brilliant, experienced information professionals. I’ve always been a bit rubbish at asking for help, and I expect to get things right first time. So a big learning point for me has been to squash that tendency and take the suggestions when they’re needed.

There have been two or three people who have been the most amazing honest critics – telling me truthfully when I have done good and when I have got it wrong: my inner critic would never admit to the former.

In my own turn, though, I had the opportunity to act as mentor to one of the 2011 ECCA award winners at SLA conference in Philadelphia – helping to encourage and introduce a new member to the chapter. I also hope I have been prepared to pitch in and help where needed in generally.

2. Speaking in public
I’m very fortunate to have had a number of opportunities to present ideas and chair panel sessions this year. In the Spring I was the guest of the American Embassy in Rome, and participated in my first bi-lingual conference. It’s an interesting experience hearing the English speakers laugh at the joke you’ve just made, and then a moment later the Italian speakers laughing (or not, as the case may be). I was part of a panel at SLA conference in Philadelphia and I also spoke about our chapter finances at Leadership in Washington, DC. All three of these were things I’d never have had the opportunity to do had I not stepped up to the role of President; I’d say these were the highlights of my year. I chaired four panel sessions – at the Perfect Information conference, at Internet Librarian and at Online. I’ve learned to not be more nervous than I need to be; to not be afraid of using humour; that it is possible to end a panel session bang on time.

3. Dealing with disagreement
This partly arises from the working-with-volunteers. No-one has any actual authority to wield and people will seek to settle disagreements in their own style and this can cause issues in itself. Some seek complete agreement from everyone and will negotiate until this is either achieved or the project is abandoned. Some will plough on regardless and hope everyone falls in with their plan. Some who disagree will pretend to agree and then just not deliver what they promised. Again, no magic wand – just accepting we are all someone else’s irritating person. And gin.

4. Chairing meetings that end more or less on time
Timed agendas? Check. Meeting papers sent out at least 48 in advance? Mostly (see #2). Two essential elements in ensuring that a meeting does not meander off-point and take up an entire evening. I’m all for socialising over a pint afterwards. I would much prefer to have a brisk and businesslike meeting first, where decisions are decided and actions are allocated. I have a pet hate of meetings that ramble on with no closure and with circular discussions. In a previous job I once copied and pasted a discussion on a topic from a previous set of minutes – both accurately representing the complete waste of time the meeting was. I think in my head I kept a fairly clear idea of what constituted a ‘discussion for the pub’ and what was essential for everyone at the meeting to have a chance to chew over. Adding timings to the agenda tells people how long they’ve got to talk things over and their relative importance.

4.1 My other key learning point was around chairing meetings with various proportions of participants dialling in and others physically present. Sometimes there were more folk dialling in than were meeting in London. Failure highlights here have been the calls dropping off and not noticing; a conversation about directions between two participants when everyone else was thinking quietly; phone participants using last month’s dial-in details and one memorable summer meeting which was abandoned because we had no reliable phoneline at all. I tried to make sure we all knew who was where and that, in the absence of the normal turn taking cues, phone participants had a chance to get a word in edgeways.

5. Managing email – not reading everything
For most of the year I’ve lived with my gmail inbox showing 75+ unread emails. Once or twice I have managed to trim this to near zero – but not often. Partly, I am receiving a lot of mail. Partly, I’m choosing not to read it all – letting others get on with having a conversation and sticking my oar in only occasionally. I’ve tried to be prudent about the amount that I forward on to other people, too.

9. Working with volunteers
In the main, SLA volunteers are a dedicated and passionate bunch of people. Even for the most committed volunteer, though, the day job sometimes gets in the way – and then there are family crises; holidays; bad weather and all the gremlins that public transport can offer to send one’s plans awry. Some folk are just always going to put your request last on their list however much it means other people may be waiting, that’s just how they are. And yet others will assume that because they’re only volunteers that gives them a consequence-free veto on anything that they can’t quite get around to. I’ve no magic wand to wave and no simple solutions to how to tackle this. It’s a complex problem, with many layers bound up in people’s self esteem, expertise, engagement and empathy. Suffice it to say I’ve had plenty of experience of juggling not only mine, but other people’s commitments. I’m not perfect – right this minute I owe the Legal Division an email that has been on my to-do list for weeks. I think in the long run it has taught me several things. Firstly, to be more flexible than I might have wanted to be (a deadline is a deadline, not a moveable concept). Secondly, to have a back-up plan, or at the very least a back-up vague idea. Thirdly, possibly most importantly, to try to ensure that everyone is clear on exactly what they need to do, when to do it by, who to tell they’ve done it and who to raise problems with.

10. Time management
So, I’ve fulfilled the role of President, changed jobs, had commitments elsewhere, run a couple of half marathons, seen friends, blogged a bit and more or less finished the fourth year of my PhD project. And I feel more-or-less unscathed, though there have been a few near misses. I no longer wonder why it feels like 2011 has whizzed past – can it really be 6 months since I was in New York? or nearly a year since Leadership?

In conclusion: I’ve had fun, been to new places, met interesting people, hidden from dull people, been happy, enthusisastic, energised, tired, frustrated and grumpy (sometimes on the same day), and all at the same time as I’ve helped promote my profession and my colleagues. Hurrah.

(I’ve run out of time to write about 8. Working transatlantically; 6. Saying yes to things 7. Networking 11. The worst that can happen is someone says no 12. Overcoming perfectionism 13. Concentrating on the race I am running, not anyone else’s)

To a certain extent – you’re right. Rubbish willpower. In my defence, I’m going to be at home alone for most of the next 4 days trying to produce a findings chapter making sense of my interviews. (This post should probably also be over on the PhD blog). I will see other people on Thursday and Saturday evenings, but for the most part I’ll be In. On My Own. Me, Myself & I. Twitter is my window on the world. On a solo Sunday I might not say anything out loud all day, but I’ll have had several conversations. However, it’s also a huge distraction.

So the deal is… I give up Twitter for 48hrs. Several people have pledged to donate to charity if I succeed. I think I got nearly ten. I give the equivalent money if I fail. I’m hedging myself in by asking a friend (@watfordgap) to change my Twitter password – let’s face it, I know myself well enough to know how easily I am tempted. (“Just one little look…”)

Let’s see how it goes, eh? Not making any promises regarding Facebook, mind you, so will post my Words-per-brew progress there. I’m slightly panicky about the thought of what I have to do in 4 days, but I am looking forward to using my dedicated teapot for the first time.

We’ve had a bit of a discussion on this on Twitter and it’s a bit hard to distill to 140 characters, so here’s my strategy when it comes to running in cold weather. Your mileage will no doubt vary. I am idiotic enough to run in rain, snow, sleet and wind, so this is probably just further proof of my insanity.

I have layers that I can combine in different ways. They don’t always have to be top-of the range branded kit, I’ve done plenty of runs in old t-shirts with no ill effects.

In summer, I generally wear a vest top and longish shorts (the thick black kind, not the sort proper sprinty runners have). Plus, a cap for keeping my hair in place and the sun off my head.

When it gets a bit colder I swap the vest for a t-shirt, and then maybe 3/4 length leggings.

Next to go on are gloves – mine are fleecy and cost me £1.50 from Tesco. On Sunday this week I did a 10k run in shorts, t-shirt and gloves. The gloves came off after about a mile once I’d warmed up. they get unceremoniously shoved down the shorts!

If it keeps getting colder, I’ll add a long sleeved showerproof lightweight jacket. I’m more likely to put another top on than I am to cover legs up. On a long run this jacket will be taken off and put back on again several times.

After that – long sleeved not short sleeved shirt, and the jacket.

After that – vest top under or over (usually over) long sleeved shirt, jacket.

I might also swap the cap for a fleecy ear warmer. I did have a proper hat but I found that made my head far too hot, so generally will just go for stopping frostbitten ears.

So the most I am ever likely to wear are three thin layers on my top, 3/4 length leggings, hat & gloves. I am pretty certain I ran happily in the snow dressed like this last winter. I think I tried a fleece but boiled after the first few moments.

The key things for me are: to put clothes on when I finish, as I will get cold quickly once I stop running. And remember that I might feel cold for 3-4 minutes once I go outside, but by 10min into the run I’ll be nicely warmed up and feeling toasty. So I never dress for the first five minutes of a run; if I did I’d end up overheating.

As an aside, although the jacket is showerproof if I run in the rain (unless it’s sleet/ snow) I wouldn’t wear it; much prefer to run in the rain wearing less rather than more.

Comment below if you’re interested and have any useful suggestions (I said useful, @watfordgap) – let’s see if this has legs or is just a half-baked idea…

Silence is appreciated and eyebrows are raised at excessively loud conversations

Changes in services can cause confusion, tears and general upset

Pentecostalism provides good training for strap-hanging and conversely hanging onto a rail on a packed train allows for sneaky praise and worship actions

Passive occupations (reading, gentle snoozing) are acceptable. Making notes or drawings is sometimes frowned upon

Prayer for the journey is essential.

With thanks to Twitter… AlisonMcNab; TheAlethiophile; edaross; bigdaddywhale

Race day dawned bright and clear and I went through what is now a fairly familiar routine of drinking gallons of water, stretching, eating porridge and that food of champions – the hot cross bun. I don’t remember why but these have become a breakfast staple for me now alongside the bananas. Just like the gin & tonic for flights, I’m not now prepared to change what works!

We stayed in central Newcastle so once I’d been seen off it was about a 25 minute walk up to the start. I’d memorised the map but this was completely superfluous as there were several thousand other people to follow. Several thousand people to follow also meant several thousand people in front of me for the loo queue and baggage bus and at one point I wished I’d left a good 30 minutes earlier. Once I’d made my final pitstop it was nearly 10:20 so I hopped over the fence and landed just at my assembly zone. I reckon this was about halfway – I could see neither the start nor the back of the crowd.

The Red Arrows arrived on a flypast – what a great start to an event. There’s just something about them that is so iconic. I watched the men’s race start on the big screen and waited to shuffle forwards to the start – took about 15 minutes, not so bad. Just like in July I remembered those for whom crowds are not benign; that I was there running for pleasure and not for my life; that water and food will be plentiful at the end.

As I was about to cross the Tyne Bridge the Red Arrows appeared again, which was another huge boost. At that point, my run was well under way. The things I remember, in no particular order, are…

• A really bad Elvis impersonator at about mile 10
• Seeing the St John Ambulance folk handing out vaseline and staffing first aid pointsNot liking seeing three folk on the floor being treated by paramedics nor the ambulance we met at about mile 9; I hope those people are recovered
• Rain. Did you see the rain on the TV? It was very very wet. Actually, it was very welcome as it was a little warm in the sun, and annoying only that I was concerned my phone was getting wet.
• Hills. At the start the chap I was chatting to warned me of the hill at mile 11. And a lot of the race felt uphill. None of it as bad as running up Ipswich Road in Colchester, though, so that training brought its benefits
• The last mile is a long mile and it was crowded – no chance of pulling a few seconds back
• Jellybabies: mine, slightly damp, eaten halfway through mile 10 when I was bored, wet and hungry. I walked a bit.
• iPod shuffle gave up the ghost at about mile 8; this was annoying!
• Race numbers had our names printed on them – two people cheered me on by name – thank you
• Oranges and sweets being handed out by spectators, some of whom looked dreadfully wet
• Hadrian’s Brewery giving out beer samples: I didn’t take one
• Roundabouts: horrible things to run round; the physio I saw last week had fore-warned me though
• At about 10 miles I was overtaken by the Runners World 2hr pace marker – quite a boost as although I’d been logging mile times I’d not been looking and I felt really slow.

Above all, I remember feeling mostly happy, relaxed, pain-free and confident in my ability to run the distance. Lucky to be able to; thankful for all the roast dinners Mum has cooked for the end of a 10mile run. Incredibly grateful for the support of my family and friends.

Looking at my times below I’m pretty pleased. My long runs all happened before Greenbelt and the Jesus Arms, injury and physio. Interesting that mile 12 was exactly the same pace as in February. So I guess the challenge for the next run I do is to even these times out to a consistent pace. I think with practice and a bit more fitness I could aim for 9 minute miles; at least for 10 or so. That would give me a fighting chance of a 2nd half marathon. And there’s a local-ish 10 mile race this autumn. Hmm.

Split times
8:45
9:04
9:07
9:21
9:49
9:26
9:25
9:53
10:25
10:06
11:28
9:56
10:39 (forgot to stop watch)

This was about the tenth Greenbelt I’ve been to. I’ve been as a young child with my parents, as a teenager with church then as a student when I worked running the sound desk for the second music stage. Most of my recent GB attendance has involved contributing in some way; this year was no different. I helped run social media surgeries – giving advice on blogging, Twitter and Facebook. I was part of a panel discussion with Bex Lewis from the Big Bible project and Simon Jenkins from Ship of Fools – we considered what church might look like if there was wholesale adoption of online communication.

One of the better innovations in recent years has been the beer tent. It’s called the Jesus Arms and this year was serving a rather nice range of Bath Ales’ beer, including one created especially for the festival and named Jonah and the Ale. I won’t pretend I didn’t spend a fair amount of time chatting to new and old friends here; meeting face to face with around 20 people that I have only talked with via Twitter over the course of the weekend. One thing missing was ‘Beer and Hymns’ which only ran in an unofficial capacity this year.

Another favourite venue of mine, the top of the racecourse grandstand, is created as a quiet area ‘Soul Space.’ Here there are prayer stations, places just to sit and be and look, people on hand to listen (and hand out tissues). Morning and Evening prayer are said here too, led by various organisations and catering for all – including the Goth Eucharist- I went to two different Morning Prayers, but missed the evensong/ night prayers (see above re: Jesus Arms).

I laughed my socks off at Adrian Plass; I missed Milton Jones’ comedy because I was engrossed in a conversation in the Jesus Arms. I heard comedian Mark Thomas talk about his Extreme Rambling – walking the wall around Palestine. I learned a lot about the Israel/ Palestine conflict; I also caught myself laughing at jokes about tear gas, which was an odd experience. My weekend was so busy that it wasn’t until Monday that I got to choose a specific talk and I went for a session on Ignatian spirituality and the benefits of silent retreats. I like the idea, perhaps when I have a 57-week year I’ll have the time…

Despite it being a music festival I only heard one actual set and that was on the recommendation of a fellow social media volunteer – it was a band from Leeds called Hope & Social that I assume everyone else has heard of…

Sunday morning Communion is something of an experience. Several thousand people gather together and share bread and wine. It’s all a tiny bit chaotic, but lovely; it always makes me wonder if this is what the crowds were like following Jesus. Sure something important is happening, but not quite sure what!

Greenbelt has a lot to recommend it. Speakers from different denominations, different traditions, cultures and viewpoints. Music from well known artists and a chance for the unsigned and youthful to play to an audience. A chance to try new styles of worship. Charities highlight their causes and parachurch organisations share their resources. Dance, theatre, cinema and visual arts to enjoy. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But if you want to be challenged in your thinking, worshipping and experience of ‘church,’ it’s definitely one to try.

Psalm 13

1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.

This is the well-thumbed page in my Bible, the Biblegateway.com link saved to my Favourites and it’s bookmarked on my Iphone app…

Finding Psalm 13 was like a light coming on in a very dark room. At the time I was surrounded by boundlessly confident Christian friends who could ‘just’ name and claim God’s blessings. So discovering a psalm that echoed exactly how I felt was, I suppose, the best way of grounding my faith. Yes, there are reams of Psalms written from unhappy places, but somehow even they all seemed ultimately too triumphant, too long, too showy. Psalm 13 is short and to the point. Has anyone been so lucky as to not know that sense of ‘how long must I wrestle with my thoughts?’ This is where the NIV & KJV wins; other translations don’t quite phrase it the same way and give that sense of trying to defeat the negativity, the harmful and worrisome thinking that somehow is never quite vanquished. I quite like the Message’s ‘I’ve carried this ton of trouble’ but it’s not quite the same feeling of that insistent, repetitious thinking that nothing quietens.

Some days, I have to stop at verse 4. These are mostly times when I wonder why our heartfelt pleas are falling on deaf ears, when my prayers seem to fall into a big black hole. Other days, good days, I can read the whole way to verse 6 and genuinely rejoice. But on all days, I am thankful for this tiny corner of the Bible, these six verses of Scripture that perfectly describe the complexities of faith.